This is kind of a vent piece.
I have a hard time dealing with negativity in a nice, Christian-like way especially when it comes to people I have to work with as a team. I’m ok with people complaining about things to me, after all that is my job as a property manager. But I’m not ok with my team mates acting defeated or hostile toward the people we are supposed to serve.
What is a nice Christian-like way? I imagine the nice way would be to listen to the heart of the negativity, counsel the person as to why they are thinking like this, turn the negative into a positive, etc. However, when I’m dealing with 50 complaints from people that I’m supposed to be helping, the last thing I need is my team member to be negative too! It takes a lot of energy and mind power for me to stay in a positive headspace, trust me. Some days it is easier and I emanate and glow positivity. Other times I clench my teeth and close my eyes and picture myself painting in a forest with Frida Kahlo (what? Where is your safe space?) But I know its necessary for my well-being. Having been a major depression case before, its very easy for me to slip back into bad thinking patterns that really inhibit my progress and my quality of life. So when I am trying to be positive and productive and progress and get sh*t done, I do not need my team mate bringing me down.
So how do I respond? Very meanly!! I shut down. I go, “OK, just get to the facts, don’t tell me a whole long story, just tell me what I need to know. Leave out all the emotion words and get to the facts.” RUDE, right!?? OMG, I would slap someone if they told me that when I was already upset and annoyed. The worst part is I only act like this with people that are the closest to me, the people that obviously trust me with their frustrations.
People don’t understand how much language can affect the energy in a room. I think Maya Angelou said that once too about curse words, how you can say a bad word in a room and its negativity will linger in the air so everyone can feel it. And I’m extremely sensitive to words (just ask my boyfriend!! Haha…) because hello?! I like to write and I’m very careful with my words whether I use them for good or evil. This morning however, I realized that my negativity does not cancel out negativity. So I approached things differently (after being a complete bi0tch) with my negative team member, got things accomplished, and we moved on.
Its so easy to point out what other people are doing wrong and how they are making youuncomfortable. But what are we doing to make ourselves comfortable? We are the people in control of our feelings and we are the people in control of how we communicate. So maybe, juuust maybe, I know this is wild, we can fuse the two together to control our feelings so we can better communicate to others.
Although in this instance, I am referring to someone I work with, I think this can be applied across the board. Parents, children, friends, significant others, managers, employees, etc. I have never had a problem hearing negativity from tenants or customers because I understand I am here to help them, but I definitely have a problem hearing it from people I rely on to get me through the day.
How do you embrace positivity?