I have been helped a lot. God puts me in his graces on a fairly consistent schedule FOR SOME REASON and it’s always incredibly humbling and leaves me in a state of self deprecation. I don’t know how he chose to put me in every situation I am in but I am telling you that only a master of life, like God, could do it. There is no way I could have experienced this much forgiveness and love and humor and HELP if God was not involved.
I have been in nonstop-cry-mode for longer than I’d like to admit but it is everyone’s participation in telling me I’m not alone, in their own way, that really helps me take my next breath and that yes, I can do this. I can make it. I can be okay. This is okay.
I can only imagine that God is totes rolling his Godly eyes every time he sees me move and make a stupid decision. I am SO sure he’s like “Oh my Me, did I really assign this person to serve this (blank) purpose and she’s here wondering how much Tapatio she can put on her Flaming Hot Cheetos? Did she really just wash her clothes with dish soap even though she had laundry detergent in her car? Is she seriously eating out of a can right now even though there’s a bowl? Doh!” Like, I am who I am, ok. Whut?
What he has planned for me, I don’t know. But I do know he is trying to make it work. That gives me faith. And I’m like “I’m sorry I suck.” When I should be like, “Thank you, I rock. Now, what do you want me to do for You?”