There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl’s complexion.

It’s really hard for me to say bad things about people, and mean it. (I say mean things on accident all the time, tho.) But especially if it isn’t in conversation with you.

For example, if you do something stupid I will probably look at you and say, “That seemed pretty stupid, why did you do that?” instead of running behind your back or observing you then telling everyone else “So-and-so is so stupid, you know what he did?…”  (I still think Trump could be a cool person if you took away his money and power.)

I’m not saying it’s the right way, or the wrong way, I’m just saying it’s what I do. I’m always open to suggestions on how to be a better human being to you, so please, let me know.

That being said, this applies to strangers I don’t know and who can’t hear me or even care what I would have to say, anyway. Yes, celebrities, yes, politicians, yes, delirious homeless person on the street.

SO, when I saw this video pop-up on my Facebook newsfeed, I was SUPER sad.

As expected, the comments online were HORRIBLE. They ranged from calling her a “ratchet” and a “ho” to making just outright degrading racist comments that involved a lot judgment and a general lack of compassion or care for this situation.
In fact, I made my own judgments, I saw her and thought, “Oh man, a prostitute with a gun — self-defense.”
(All wrong, by the way.)
What I couldn’t understand is why no one was worried about her. 
Yeah, I heard you roll your eyes.
“Vanessa, SHE HAS A F*&@ING GUN! Who can feel WORRIED about HER!?”

Um, I can.

Healthy, happy, carefree, well-adjusted, Godly people do not carry around guns to shoot when they get into a verbal altercation with people at gas stations.

Disagreements, arguments, verbal “fights” you know what they are, right? They’re just events in which two people have feelings hurt, and want to make the other person feel hurt, too.

In this case, this young lady wanted the other person to feel physical hurt, and so she shot at him.

Nobody in this situation is innocent, everyone has been so conditioned to think that violence is OKAY.. Who the hell knows what they were even arguing about? Let’s take it to the worst situation possible, maybe that was her boyfriend in the car with another girl (drama, right?) Like whoa, yeah I’d be upset too. (THIS IS ALL HYPOTHETICAL but a practice in understanding the world around us.)

Let’s REALLY look at the choices that have led to this exact time and place.

1) Shooter made a poor choice in finding this dude who is not good for her.
2) This dude has issues to be treating women like they are just interchangeable.
3) The other woman has self-esteem issues to be involved with a man who would treat women like this and she’s susceptible to this treatment in her future with him.

OK. But then look at it FURTHER:

1) Shooter lady has had really unhealthy relationships with men, modeled after her mother’s relationship with her father. She thinks fights are normal and violence is OK. Maybe she’s been abused or raped before, so that’s why she has that gun. She’s used to being abused by men, maybe she’s going to be the one to hurt someone first this time.
2) You really don’t care because she still has a gun and is about to shoot someone.


Is it right that they are conditioned this way? NO!

As we say in rehab, “If they knew better, they’d do better.”

But judgment doesn’t help her or society, either. She needs help, the couple in the car needs help, the guys taking the gun from her hand need help — our society is so FUCKED.

How do we all become people that don’t shoot people, Vanessa?

I don’t know. But I know that helping to try to understand the people that shoot people would be a good start, preferably before they start shooting people.

Maybe we should talk more, be honest about our hurts more, try to understand each other more. STOP TALKING SHIT. I get it, it’s what you know. It’s how you ‘process’ but it needs to stop.

Words are bad as bullets sometimes, whether you’re shooting from nearby or faraway.


I don’t know.

Just kidding, I know.

But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
Matthew 5:22