Oh, I don’t know.
But it doesn’t exactly make you a cool person, ya know.
You know what alcoholics call New Years Eve? Amateur hour.
I know, I know, you’ve heard all about how irresponsible and dangerous drinking and driving is. (Hey alcoholics, I don’t mean it in the cool sexy way you want to pretend you are. That’s a delusion. You’ll figure it out when you sober up. Don’t get me wrong: there is some definite cool sexiness in you, for sure, it just isn’t manifesting when you’re swerving on the highway pretending youR car is PacMan. whodoesthatomgidknotmeiswear)
Surely there is someone you can think of that is vile, selfish, irresponsible, self-centered, ugly, like — what is wrong with them, were they raised by wolves, ew… someone who just makes you go, UGH – whyyy do they have to exist?
Okay, well, that’s also you when you get into a car with the intention to drive ‘just around the corner’ when you’re ‘not hammered, I swear, I only had two beers’ or whatever.
Let’s go through all the reasons and situations in which it is OK to drive after consuming alcohol or drugs (YES, MARIJUANA, THAT INCLUDES YOU):
Ok, phew. I thought I was going to have to work harder.
What about that I just drank and now like, my parents are gonna be soooo mad I’m passed my curfew and she’s gonna killl meeee if I don’t get home right now!
….or my boyfriend made me soooo mad, I’ll show him by going over to side dude’s house and you know what.
….or my friend’s a bitch and she can figure out how to get herself home, so imma go now.
…or dude, maybe I’m the one hyping this up waaay too much and I need to chill.
…it will never happen to you. You’re careful. You drive better when you’re drunk. It isn’t a big deal. You do it all the time.
If any of this seems absurdly ridiculous and like ‘omg, so dumb, I’d never say that’ — then fine. You are a much better person than me. These were all the lies (and soooooo many more) I told myself and others every. single. time. I got into a car after drinking.
Of course, it didn’t seem like a lie at the time. It seemed reasonable. I was being honest to myself. But then again, my BAC was around 0.22 – 0.26 (yes — zero point two – two for my 1st DUI, zero point two FOUR for my 2nd DUI and zero point two SIX for my 3rd — do you notice a pattern?) so I wasn’t exactly someone you’d take life advice from.
BY THE WAY — I hesitate to say this because I still have a lot of shame about it… I drank and drove for 4 years before I got my first DUI.
Then a year later, I got my second.
Then, I kept drinking and driving for another SEVEN YEARS before I got caught again for my third DUI.
That felt disgusting enough to type out so I’m not going to tell you all the bullshit that happened in the years I was “getting away with it” because I “drove better when I was drunk.”
Obviously, I’m an alcoholic. You are a responsible normal drinker so this doesn’t apply to you.
As soon as you get a DUI, everyone will talk to you like you’re an alcoholic. It doesn’t matter that you actually aren’t and just made a mistake. Because what sane rational smart person would get behind the wheel of a car after drinking?
So anyway, BACK TO YOU: All the reasons to NOT drink and drive:
- Best case scenario: You get arrested and now owe a bunch of time (OK, I served jail time but even if you don’t go to jail you have to meet a bunch of court requirements that are really annoying and depressing AF) and money in fines (HI — my DUI in California cost me $15,000. You got an extra $15K lying around somewhere? Can I have some? Please?) Now you feel awful and your felony or misdemeanor (if you’re lucky) will show up on your record and that’s kind of a dealbreaker for some employers, you know. Technically, you’re a criminal now when all you did was drink a wine cooler and swerve a little. But this is the best because now you get to learn that things could have been SO MUCH WORSE.
- Not great scenario: You kill yourself or someone else. Families are devasted. People hate you. Etc. If you survive, and it’s the first DUI, maybe you’ll get manslaughter, I guess? But anything after your first one is an automatic murder charge so… Hi mom/dad/grandma/grandpa, my name is ___________, I’m a murderer.
- Worst case scenario: You get away with it.
The reason it is the worst if you get away with it is that you will do it again.
And next time, stats show you’ll drink more (remember my BAC pattern? that isn’t uncommon, it happens a lot especially with women because we metabolize alcohol way differently than dudes especially as alcoholism progresses.)
OK that was all way more lecturey than I had planned for this to be so I’ll finish this up.
BEING A RESPONSIBLE DRIVER IS SIMPLE: IF YOU ARE DRINKING, DO NOT DRIVE.
- Plan your safe ride home before you start the party, choose a non-drinking friend as a designated driver.
- If someone you know has been drinking, do not let that person get behind the wheel. Take their keys and help them arrange a sober ride home.
- If you drink, do not drive for any reason. Call a taxi, a ride-hailing service, or a sober friend.
- If you’re hosting a party where alcohol will be served, make sure all guests leave with a sober driver.
- Always wear your seat belt — it’s your best defense against impaired drivers.
If you see an impaired driver on the road, contact local law enforcement. Your actions could help save someone’s life. Source
More reasons not to drive while intoxicated:
- These people
OK I just googled “san diego DUI” and those were the first ones to show up and then my laptop started overheating, I’m not kidding, because I opened so many tabs and there were still pages upon pages of stories of peoples whose lives have been effected by someone thinking they were OK to drive.
If you aren’t sure you commit to not driving drunk, these are some resources to help:
Email me if you need something: email@example.com
And you know what… most people only find my blog after they get a DUI. I get it. If anything, I probably have a reallllyyyyy accurate idea of how you’re feeling. And no, you’re not an awful person. You are still wonderfully made in the image of God and ya know, God loves you. No one can take that away from you. So, that’s kinda cool.