Today, I remembered. I had been asleep, dreaming that I was awake. But I was only resting until my consciousness stirred. My eyes opened. I took in a deep breath and the view of my […]
Author: Vanz
Christian, bipolar, and alcoholic. [RECOVERED 10/08/2017]
Hope you’re into awkward overshares about faith, sobriety, and mental health — bc that’s kinda my thing.
My story is probably a lot like yours, a loved ones, or a hated ones. It's full of alcoholism and addiction. This led me to less desirable parts of communities: jails, rehabs, and mental hospitals. Geez, it even led me to church. #embarrassing
Since getting sober, everything. has. changed. Not just the "outside" stuff, but all the "inside" stuff, too. My life is full and rich, I wake up in gratitude and disbelief. And kinda annoyed.
Because listen, I won't sugar-coat it -- Jesus saved me. That isn't a popular thing to say nowadays, I know. So go figure I was called upon to spread this "great news". Ugghhh.
[You see what He has to put up with? He saved me from a dumpster fire of a life and I'm over here complaining bc all I gotta do is tell people about Him.]
More than anything, I've felt called to reach out to God's creatives: the artists, musicians, and writers who struggle with addiction or mental health issues. Because more than anything, I get it. So, here I am.
"...God is closer to me than my next breath. And that’s all I’ll ever need or want. If you think I’m bullshitting, kiss my ass. MY STORY IS THE AMAZING TRUTH."
-- From Denis Johnson’s short story “The Starlight on Idaho.”
Your love is fearless, help me to be courageous, too.
“The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty.” – Anne Lamott I won’t claim to be an enlightened individual. Mainly because if you’re reading this, you likely know me and could call me out […]
I’ve been playing dead my whole life.
I saw a dead owl today. It was stiff and on its back. Two legs stuck out of it, the feathered blob. It was on a path behind me as I walked my dogs. The […]
The Biggest Worst “Decision” to get a 3rd DUI
There is no excuse for driving drunk. Let me be clear. For true change to happen, for people to stop being reckless with their own lives at the expense of others, the way we talk […]
It was well-intentioned but bad advice, hell yeah…
If you’ve ever scrolled through social media during the holidays, or like, a worldwide pandemic, you may come across well-meaning friends posting the number for NAMI or Suicide Hotlines.“If just two of my friends will […]
DUI’s + Jail + Insanity
Just realized I hardly ever shared my videos to my blog, which is kinda weird. As I’m revamping the direction of that channel, figured I’d post some of the classics. While I can’t stand watching […]
I was all covered in sound when you asked me to turn it down…
It’s two o clock on a Friday afternoon and my nose is red. It would be red on a Monday morning, too. Or a Wednesday night. But it’s bothering me more now because I wear […]
This might all be gone tomorrow.
As a child, I think my parents did what parents do and tried to protect me from everything that could harm me. God bless them for trying. Sometimes this preoccupation was so grand, that […]
No, I’m not afraid of hard work/And I did everything I want
I just got done telling God I feel like I’m in line, waiting at the DMV trying to get my license reinstated. Not sure how long I’ll be waiting, not sure if I’ll pass the […]
